Beverage in Hand - A Social Must

My first real introduction to this aspect of alcohol culture was about two years ago. I went to visit some 'insider' (alcohol drinking) friends of mine. They welcomed me into their house, and after offering to take my coat, they immediately offered me something to drink. I declined, thinking that was perfectly acceptable because I wasn't thirsty. I sat down and they again asked me if I wouldn't like something to drink, they even opened their fridge to show me the possibilities, "We have orange juice, milk, fizzy water, don't you want anything?" I felt obliged and simply said, "Water would be great." They asked if I wanted ice, I said no, because I really didn't plan on drinking much I thought the extra work of putting ice in the cup would be wasteful. But as they re-filled their drinks, they continued to ask me if I needed more, so I felt obliged to drink more.

All of this liquid consumption, which I was not used to (my only beverage drinking typically comes at mealtimes, and one glass usually suffices) left me with a very great need to use the restroom.  However, I do not enjoy asking people to use their facilities, and I especially did not feel comfortable doing so there because that was only the second time I'd visited their home. So I eventually took my leave, thinking I would be fine driving the fifteen minutes back to my house.

On the drive home I was bouncing, humming, yelling, and sweating profusely, all in an effort to restrain my ridiculously full bladder. It came in waves, one second I thought I was going to be fine, but the next I was looking for places I could pull over so at the very least I wouldn’t completely ruin the seat of my car forever. I finally pulled into my driveway, and thought I’d made it. But as I pulled into the garage I lost it.

Quick as a wink I jumped out of the car to avoid getting anything more than necessary on the seat. Unfortunately I had forgotten to put the car in park. So, as ‘liquid’ was flowing down both legs I reached one leg into the car to stop it's slow roll into the garage, while still attempting to keep one leg out of the car and out of the garage so as to ensure that any and all resulting stains would remain outside the garage and on the driveway. That was the dramatic end to my night...straddling a car half-in the garage and the snow outside it in jeans that were completely soaked through.

Although it was only recently pointed out to me in so many words, I have learned that not holding a beverage when others are, is against some unwritten social norm. When in the company of drinkers, one must be a drinker. But one must also remember to be bold: use the bathroom.